One Without Tea

A conversation I recently witnessed in a coffee shop at the airport. An old frail man walked up to the counter and asked for 

“One without tea”

The boy across the counter who was taking this order wanted to double-check. “One, what?”

With a deadpan face, the customer answered “One without tea”

I was next in the queue and immediately knew that this would take a while. It was promising to be fun as well. 

“We have masala tea and ginger tea. Which one would you want?”

“No Sada (ordinary) tea. But without tea” came the reply from the customer. 

The confused assistant realized that his feeble attempts to sidestep a tricky request weren't working. So he reached out to his supervisor for help.

The busy looking supervisor asked the customer if he wanted coffee !!

“No coffee. Only Without Tea”. Now our man was losing it. Apparently coffee is not his cup of tea.

“Tell him we don’t have it” – The irate supervisor shooed away the counter boy who was by now becoming more of a pest than the customer himself.

The poor boy was more than happy to follow his boss’s orders and told the old man that they don't have that 'Without tea'. Whatever it might be. 

The customer was bemused and said something in a language that none of us understood. I am pretty sure he was not thanking the coffee shop, guys.

He walked out angry and disappointed. But hey, he got what he wanted. He asked for 'One Without tea', and walked away without tea. What was he fussing about?

As I reached the counter and asked for a cup of coffee, the counter boy was thrilled to bits and beamed a very happy smile. He was so happy to hear something he could understand.

As my coffee was getting ready I turned back and looked at the old man and thought about his strange request. What could he have wanted? Should I have stepped in and tried to help him rather than just enjoy the fun? 

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the coffee cup and the fresh brew.

"Sir, your coffee," said the helpful assistant and pointed me to a corner where sugar packets were kept. 

Without Sugar

Instinctively I looked back to see if that tea-loving customer was still around. How could we not understand this simple request? 

I never met that old man again and probably never will. But I sincerely hope that the next time he has a smarter and sweeter fellow customer who not just enjoys his plight but also helps him get his 'One without (sugar) tea',

May i have your kind tension please

“Goood evening lads and gentmen,

The inflight announcement crackled through the speakers. Apparently they don’t like ladies and gentlemen inside the flight anymore and prefer to greet only the ‘lads and gent men ’.Whoever they are

May I have your kind tension please?”

I wasn’t sure if I fitted the category of a ‘lad’ or a ‘gentmen’ but I sure had lots of stress and tension with me that I was more than willing to give away to that pretty inflight attendant who made this strange request. Why would she request others for their kind tension? Or was it kind attention?

Mr. Nara…aa..ya..n…

Even in deep sleep I could sense that someone was having a fight with my name. I woke up in time to save the struggling flight attendant and more importantly my name (actually that’s my father’s name) by helping her with my rather easy to pronounce …Bhaskar

Sir you have a pre booked Veg meal. May I have your boarding pass please?

As I pick my boarding pass and hand it over to her, she poses a tough question

Would you prefer vegetarian or non - vegetarian, Sir

If I prefer a non-vegetarian meal, why would I pre book a veg meal? I chose to show my annoyance by showing a V symbol (for veg) with my fingers. I was too sleepy to answer anyway. Can I have a sandwich please? Not because I like it but because that’s the first option I could think of.

Cucumber tomato or spinach lettuce or paneer sandwich?

Another multiple choice question. After a quick inky-pinky-ponky in the head I took that tough decision – “cucumber tomato please”

Sorry sir we don’t have it.

Annoyed as I was my ego did not permit me to go back to the poor spinach and panneer that I said no to in the first place. So I asked for a fruit cake

Sorry Sir, it’s out of stock

I felt like screaming out loud. I was in row 3 for God’s sake. How can something go out of stock when the food service had barely started, But I held back my frustration and politely asked the girl, “What else do you have”

Sir, please go through our menu in the inflight magazine kept in your seat pocket

Now that strange request made by the flight attendant as soon as we boarded the flight - “May I have your kind tension please” made sense to me. She probably wanted to collect as much tension as she could from the others so that she could pass them all on to me. Unfortunately for me, she succeeded

I didn’t know if I was more hungry or angry staring at the small box of chilli pepper cashew in front of me. Apparently that’s all the vegetarian choice they had for me.

By the way, I had asked for a box of salted cashew.

How can we not love the like?

Have you ‘like’ watched the latest movie. It is ‘like’ awesome. I am ‘like’ planning to watch it again, ‘like’ the fourth time, in ‘like’ five days. 

The usage of this vocalized pause in spoken English is undoubtedly the most annoying style contributed by us to the language. This excessive use of Like is a definite hair puller for many. What was considered to be one of those North American teenage girls ‘thingy’ has now become the lingo of many in this part of the world as well.

If ‘like’ is more irritating than the conventional fillers like ‘um’ or ‘er’ in spoken English, then it certainly has to be the most versatile. Ask those compulsive ‘Like’ clickers of Facebook who convey everything from “I agree with you” to a more basic acknowledgment to say “I saw this post”. 

'Like' gives us the flexibility to interpret its meaning. While the reader might have clicked ‘like’ more out of reflex the one who posted might imagine that their work is truly loved.

The trouble with this flexibility to interpret is that, sometimes, it looks plain silly when ‘Like’ is used to convey sympathy. Sample this post I once saw, 

“I did not check FB for the past 3 weeks. I lost someone”. 

This sad post had 50+ Like. Were these people happy that our man did not come on FB for 3 weeks? I certainly hope they didn’t ‘Like’ the fact that he lost someone. 

In the digital marketing world ‘Like’ is an ‘Opt-in’ option.  By clicking ‘like’ to a page you are opting in to be fed automatically by all the updates to that page or site.

Though some of us might be voting for the other more frequently used 4 letter word for its versatility, 'Like' should rank right up there.  You can love it or you can hate it but the fact is, ‘Like’ is here to stay.

So, the next time when you struggle to express your emotion towards something, simply 'Like' it and leave the world to interpret the meaning.  

Do I see a ‘thumbs-up’ from you to this idea?

Parallels between Life and WWE

Do you enjoy watching a 6’5” man, built like an oak tree, do a 360 degree somersault from atop the ringside rope, reaching nearly 10 feet in the air and landing flat on another man.  Or do you prefer watching two super-sized athlete beat each other with steel chairs, in front of millions of frenzied spectators who don’t think it’s violent enough.

If you think all of these are barbaric and stupid ‘fake’ acts but violence all the same, then you are not alone. There are millions who share your views. On the other hand, if you think all these make it the best sports entertainment shows on earth, you are not alone too. Welcome to the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) - A billion dollar industry, a show that is being telecast over the past 25 years making it the longest running program in television history. If it is just a mind numbing dumb act like most people think it is, what explains its success for nearly 3 decades, across the globe, since it started?

It was nearly 20 years ago that I watched a World Wrestling Federation (WWF) match on TV, for the first time. I was fascinated by the freakishly huge wrestlers, who were surprisingly flexible as a rubber, performing some of the most unbelievable acrobatic stunts. The combination of super-size, flexibility, in-ring acting capability, well written story line, promotions, the pyro techniques, music etc. made me love this show instantly. Not many share my taste. The ‘haters’ complain that this is a show of mindless giants who beat each other to pulp only to reach a pre-fixed result. They wonder “How on earth can someone consider this fun? The matches are fixed”. I wonder, would they rather enjoy a real fight?

I don’t know about the millions of others who enjoy it but I enjoy watching this sports entertainment show because of the parallel I am able to draw to real life. I know that, as far as unlikely connections go, this is taking it to the extreme. After all, WWE is all about taking things to the extreme isn’t it?

Balancing the opposites:

Aristotle once said that successful life is a living reconciliation of the opposites. It is the co-existence and the balancing of good and bad, happiness and sadness, success and failure and many more such opposites. A WWE reflects this important philosophy of real life. A success of a wrestler and hence the episode lies in the display of his skills in a perfect balance - Strength and flexibility, speed and patience, Athleticism and ability to emote, Flair and Consistency etc. - Balancing of the opposites, Aristotle spoke about.

Knowledge of death does not stop us from living:

We know that death is an eventual reality but yet, we wake up each morning believing we will live for an eternity. We focus on the life and its process. Not so much on the end, A WWE match is much the same for a fan. Result might be a foregone conclusion and the least important part of a show. The real fun is in the fight itself and the surprise twists and turns during its course. Like real life, not just the end but most part of the journey is scripted too and yet makes us believe that every action is instinctive.

What you experience may not always be what you like:

The story line in WWE usually lulls you into believing that you got a hang of it before taking an unexpected turn. Like in real life not all these unexpected turns work for us. We like some. We don’t like some. But we are better off learning to enjoy this twist and hope for a better one at the next bend, which is always round the corner.

Good does not always triumph over the evil:

Real life almost never fits the romantic notion of the triumph of Good over Evil. Sometimes, a WWE story line follows this uncomfortable truth. The ‘Heel’ (a bad guy wrestler) torments a ‘Baby Face’ (a good guy wrestler) right through to the main event and when you believe and hope for a payback the Heel wins again.

Good and Bad are not always what they are:

The most important and interesting part of a WWE story line is the Heel turn by a Face. (when a good guy turns bad all of a sudden). We might feel bad that our favourite wrestler has become a bad guy and wonder why this change had to happen. But then, we will also realize over the next few episodes that this change has made the storyline so much better. Just as how it happens often in life. We see people, situations that were in our favour for so long take a turn for the worse making us feel hurt. But then over time we will be thanking our stars for that change when we realize that this actually helped us get better.

Enemies to our help when friends turn foe:

The drama of life sometimes demands that you partner with an enemy to take on a friend, who chose to work against you. WWE storylines do not have any permanent friend or foe. Wrestlers are made to pair up randomly sometimes pitting close friends and tag team partners against each other. Often we see bitter enemies teaming up to take on a common enemy - All part of a story line that is well scripted, just as in real life.

End of a chapter is not end of the book:

In real life, we go through several experiences which last for a while before they come to an end - Sometimes gradually, sometimes abruptly. They are simply the end of a chapter and only helps begin the next one. They don’t mean that the book has come to an end. These changes make us grow stronger and help us become who we are. Much like the changing storylines of a WWE match that constantly keeps changing to help grow the show.

There are many more parallels we can draw between our life and this ‘dumb’ sport. But then, all these analysis would eventually defeat the purpose that this show is intended for – Entertain. Then, Now and Forever. So, sit back, relax. Let the child in you come out while you admire and respect these hard working super athletes perform their incredible act of balancing the opposites. You might enjoy it, you might analyze it, and you might hate it but please learn to respect it. But whatever is your choice, PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.

Zen and Quantum Physics

Sometimes the best way to feel intelligent is to assume that the others don’t know what you know and to assume the position of teaching them. So what if nobody wants to learn from you. So I picked a few of the coolest sounding topics that I wasn’t too familiar with but knew just enough about to put into a blog and pretend that I actually knew them. Afterall, blogs are never about impressing the other, are they? :)

Placebo Effect of Management:
Placebo is usually a term used by Physicians in the medical world and is defined as the ‘medically ineffective treatment intended to deceive patients’. In plain English, this is usually what a family doctor does mostly to cure an over anxious patient by prescribing a simple paracetamol to make the patient believe he/she is cured. Or, what an astrologer does to your psyche by suggesting a ritual like visiting a temple in the wee hours of morning on cold winter days for some specific period of time (usually long enough for the problem to die it’s natural death) and make you believe in your head that the ritual actually helped solve the problem. Some of you would have understood Placebo by now, vaguely enough at least, to relate it with your corporate existence. “Didn’t my boss and the HR give me something actually worthless (Onsite opportunity, Promotion, ESOP) but left me feeling I was hugely benefitted, all these years?”.

If you relate to this pain and yet smile while reading this line, you have experienced the Placebo effect. After all, we feel good when belief replaces the fact to make us believe “I feel better. Therefore I am better”.

Searching the ‘Nothing’
The reason I find this topic more interesting is the fact, billions of dollars are spent by countries in the hope of finding the ‘Nothing’. Yes, mankind (I mean the types with little more grey matter on their head) is actually searching for the evidence of presence of this ‘Dark Matter’. This all important particle is presumed to add mass to everything in this universe and is believed to be responsible for all laws of physics to be true - much like the radio waves or the Wi-Fi, you can’t see them. You don’t ‘see’ the Wi-Fi connection but if you see this post on the internet, you can be sure it exists. The best part is, Scientists and Physicists are not even sure if the dark matter exists in the first place. No wonder they call it the ‘God particle’.

In simple English, every object in this universe has mass. Galaxies and Planets are objects too, so they too have mass. They spin on their axis to produce a centrifugal force but their respective gravitational forces give them the counterbalance force which keeps them in the universe. But wait. Physics requires each of these objects to be of a certain mass for the laws to be applicable. But their sizes don’t give them this critical mass and yet they don’t fly off the universe. So they apparently have some extra mass that we don’t see. And that is what they call the ‘Dark Matter’ which apparently constitutes 90% of objects mass. The dude who admitted that we don’t know the 90% and claimed that there might exist the dark matter and actually did a great job of branding this idea so well by calling it the God Particle got the Nobel Prize this year. Not sure if it’s for the discovery he is yet to make or for the brilliant branding to attract huge funding for the project.

As intriguing as this subject may be, I have this one big doubt. How do they know that they haven’t found it yet? After all, we know we can’t see it. But, that’s not why I decided not to write more on this subject. The search for this God particle or Dark Matter is apparently happening in labs built a mile under the earth. What on earth are they doing there? Aren’t they supposed to be searching in the space?


Quantum Physics taught us to express our Love

“If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” This Zen like thought/question is the basis for one of the key theories in Quantum Physics. (I’m hoping that this blog is beginning to sound intelligent enough to some of you by now, just for using quantum physics and Zen philosophy in the same sentence – for those of you who have braved this far). Superposition is that very theoretical theory proposed by Niels Bohr which talks about the existence of multiple truths (Multiple World theory) until we choose to check (measure) them. Who cares, right?. An Austrian scientist by name Schrodinger did. He actually proved this ‘bohring’ theory with an experiment that was made famous by Dr Sheldon Cooper from the television comedy, ‘The Big Bang Theory’ (Those who watched this serial would admit that Sheldon taught us more physics than Dr Stephen Hawkins or Einstein did). Shrodinger’s Cat is a simple experiment where he puts a cat (I’m sure it was his neighbor’s) inside a box (not an out of the box idea for sure) along with an alarm that triggers cynic gas (poison). With the box closed, all possibilities are true. The cat is alive, the cat is dead and the cat is dead and alive – The multiple world. But a simple act of opening the box would reveal that singular truth – The truth is altered by measurement (act of checking). Apparently, poor guys didn’t have much to do those days. We don’t care if the cat was dead or alive or care to understand quantum physics but what this experiment ultimately did was to teach the most important lessons in our lives. The tree does make a sound when it falls down, it’s up to us to check and eliminate the other truth that it did not make the sound. Well, actually we don’t care about that too. What then do ordinary folks like you and me learn from quantum physics – If you love a girl but are hesitant to express your emotions, unsure if the truth would be a yes or a no, remember the ‘Schrodinger’s Cat. The truth would be known only when you open the box.

So go ahead, open all the unopened boxes that you have been hesitant to look into. Who knows you might just find the ‘Dark Matter’ that could make you feel better with a Placebo Effect.

Unlikely Connection

Have you ever wondered if there is anything common to ‘Indian education system that encourages cramming’ (mugging up, as we call it) and the ‘Habits of a human baby in its first 40 days’? 

Indian Education System: I know I will be crucified by many for even using the word ‘System’ here, as most criticize the lack of it and believes a complete overhaul is long overdue. Especially the process that encourages cramming “Without understanding” and a model that does not encourage the kids to “Analyze”. For all the criticism about the Indian education system, we have not done too badly across the globe over the last 50 years or so. You will find highly qualified or at least a decently qualified Indian in almost every major corporate, governments etc. So, for a change can we look at what is right about what we do or have been doing at school?

Analysis by definition is breaking up a larger problem to smaller chunks and solving the individual smaller pieces. For this to happen, the brain should be evolved enough and have more than enough repository of information (data, experience etc) to refer to. An average school kid can’t be expected to have this and forcing them to analyze would be unfair. Whereas, what our school system does is to help with Synthesis – The process of combining preexisting elements to form something new. By Cramming information, we ensure enough data is fed into the head. Age and experience teaches us at a later stage in life in combining these data to form a new meaning. Cramming also encourages discipline, determination and various other virtues that are more important to succeed in life. The bottom line is, our schools teach us to keep repeating, keep adding as much data into our head without worrying about analyzing them. All those effort would make sense years later, when it really matters.

Habits of a new born baby: All that a new born baby does is to eat, sleep, wake up approximately after every couple of hours and cry so that it can be fed and put to sleep again. This ritual apparently goes on for the first 40 days or so after the baby is born. They don’t care for the taste or patterns. The only governing principle is “Cry when hungry, Sleep when fed”. However, what this does is to build strength to the body and allows time for some of the internal mechanisms to evolve. Patterns, tastes, choices, dislikes etc evolve on top of this now strong body. Nature’s way to forming the fundamental building blocks by repetition that is critical for the further growth of this baby to be the adult.

Our education system is a reflection of this technique of nature. Nature always believes in the ground and pound technique.  Boring as it may seem, the most interesting results are often the outcome of mind numbing repetitions. Nature did not materialize anything out of thin air. It let things evolve. Maybe our ancestors got it right with our education systems, value systems our culture and many other aspects that we are respected for around the globe. So let’s not fret too much about everything Indian. Maybe we got it right before anyone else did.

Arc Welding and Relationships

Some times the most mundane activity reveals the most profound philosophies of life. Imagine an Arc Welding  teaching us the secrets to a successful relationship. 


For the uninitiated, an Arc Weldng is a process of joining 2 metals by an electric arc. For more technical answer refer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arc_welding


The trick to producing the arc is in the right amount of gap between the electrode and the metals. More the gap, there is no spark. Less the gap, the electrode sticks to the metal and spoils it. Human relationships are no different. Too far apart, the spark does not exist. Too close and its too uncomfortable. The trick is to keep the right distance and more importantly maintaining this distance to keep the spark going (as the electrode melts the welder has to progressively bring it closer to the metal)


Happy welding and keep the spark going in your relationship. Remember, the gap is the key :)