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03 July 2019

Artificial Intelligence or Natural Stupidity?


This might be a rhetorical question but an interesting one at that. How can an exciting evolving technology and a not so exciting human behaviour impact organisations? I thought the sarcasm in it was thought-provoking. Do they really have an impact or are there other factors that are more impactful. Let us explore. 


It cannot be Artificial Intelligence for sure


Artificial IntelligenceAI is the simulation of human intelligence by machines, developed to overcome some of the human limitations. Is it not? So how can it be a challenge? Hollywood embraced this technology earlier than the real world did. Maybe all those men vs machine movies are causing this paranoia. AI as a technology is evolving and the adaption is too nascent. So it’s not fair to call it a challenge even before it has made a significant impact. 

So we can safely eliminate AI from the suspect list. 

Or is it Natural Stupidity?


Well, let us admit that there are many out there with this special ability.  Stupidity naturally becomes a prime suspect for any detrimental impact.  And of course, it is a problem, for society at large. But is it one of the biggest challenges faced by companies today? I am not too sure. 


Stupidity is a lack of intelligence, understanding, reason or wit. So a question to organisations? Why hire those who display these signs in the first place or why keep them if we are intelligent enough to recognize these telltale signs of stupidity. So if Natural Stupidity is a reason we are whining about, then we need to reassess our own intelligence. This is more a case of Artificial Problems that companies impose on themselves. Yes, Natural Stupidity will have a damaging impact if we continue to breed this lot. Otherwise not.

So let us not blame natural stupidity to cover our own lack of intelligence.  

Can Natural Rebels be the issue?

Non-Conformists or as a modern marketing manager calls them ‘Disruptors’ are those who impact society and organizations. They are the change agents. They are usually considered mad because they are often ready to risk it all. But don’t we need these madmen to help us stay ahead in the race and make this world a more convenient place to live in? Our thoughts, our beliefs, our technology and everything else that we have are because of these few out of the box thinkers who dared to think differently, who chose to question the status quo. Having these mavericks in our mix is probably the sanest thing to do. After all, “In a mad world, only the mad are sane." So they can’t be a challenge. They are in fact a boon.

If Artificial Intelligence, Natural stupidity or Natural Rebels are not the real challenges then who or what is?


The real culprit: Artificial Stupidity

We search, hunt, hire and nurture natural intelligence. Why do we look for intelligent people? Natural Intelligence enables a better understanding of the environment and quick adaptability to it, among other things. 

But, when the adapted environment becomes a comfort zone complacency sets in. And complacency results in dumbing down of all the traits that made us intelligent in the first place. In other words, Natural Intelligence breeds conformists who thrive on the status quo. They learn to curb their instincts, their passion and most times their intellect thus creating this destructive human trait that I call Artificial Stupidity.


Capable and intelligent individuals who over a period of time, morph themselves into this unrecognizable version of themselves. They become so proficient at turning a blind eye to mistakes, are happy following a non-existent rule, they become risk-averse and their only interest becomes survival. Fear of failure is their primary instinct.


Should not the organizations be more worried about this dangerous lot that they breed and nurture?


Who is responsible for this slide? Is it the organisation or the employee himself? Well, that’s another topic for another day.

09 November 2016

The Ban and The Don

a random thought on Modi's Demonetization and Trump becoming the President. Two events that can have huge political and economic impact across the globe.

Demonetization and Trump

Black money and Donald TrumpFear and Hope are probably the two most important aspects of human psyche that have dominated us since the beginning. We tend to fear what we don’t understand and mostly the ones that we think we understand. At the same time, we tend to get excited about anything that sounds positive and get our hopes high, even if we don’t understand it completely

Two major decisions got taken in the last 24 hours across the globe that has caused Fear and Hope amongst us. One is a seemingly brilliant economic move at home and the other a seemingly dumb political decision in the US. So what if we don’t understand the nuances of either of these decisions and the impact it could have on us.   If the brave move against black money made the working class Indian happy then Trump’s win in the US has brought back those familiar worries.   Most of us don’t have a clue how exactly these decisions will impact us but we know they will. Or at least we think we know it.

A man who is termed as a part time clown or a full time socio path trumped not just Hillary but our collective ego. Why do we fear his victory? We don’t care about the Mexicans and immigrants that he has promised to shoo away. We don’t care about the women he has groped for sure. We are afraid because he might stop outsourcing. Period. We fear losing the status quo. We fear that the American Dream of an Indian might end. Can he do that? Will the political and economic compulsions allow that? Will the demographic reality make it viable? We don’t know because we don’t understand it enough. We fear him because he said he will beat the odds and he did it. We fear him because we are angry. After all, the clown trumped the collective predictions of all the pundits and our prayers.

Where there is fear there is always hope.  Last night’s move against corruption seems good enough so far not because we understand the specifics of its economic impact but because of the intent of this decision. If this can give heart burns to all those corrupt politicians and unworthy rich guys who are hoarding black money, then why not. It’s the hope of having that last laugh which makes us all jump in joy. Rs 500 and 1000 apparently amounts to nearly 80% of the cash in India. Can the RBI pump in enough smaller denominations in time to compensate? Apparently the cost of printing a smaller denomination is higher. What about the non cash black money?  How will that stop? With the concept of cashless economy still a distant dream, the days ahead might not be as convenient as it used to. But then, there is this hope. The hope to see the corrupt bleed. Economics might never get into our head but hope has entered our hearts. And that is good enough for now.


We never know how the reality pans out. We don’t know what we don’t understand. We have seen our best hopes shattered and the worst nightmares turning angels. We will all do well to simply back these two decisions and believe that they turn out better than our fears. Let us believe that this ban is the best move against corruption and the Don decision works not just for the US but for all of us.

01 October 2016

What did you say?

A funny conversation (of course with some fiction) with a friend on my pencil drawing

Feedback and constructive criticism, they say are vital for self-improvement. I couldn’t agree more. For someone who shamelessly shares his bad pencil sketches out on FB and Whatsap, I have had more than my fair share of criticisms. Feedback, if must say so.

Feedback
Sometimes, the challenge for me is not so much in working on a feedback but taking it in the first place. How do you work on someones opinion? How can a comment be taken as a feedback?

I recently did a pencil drawing of a fearsome T Rex. Remember the dinosaur eating dinosaur from Jurassic Park? It was not the greatest of drawings but I was particularly glad that I could capture the ferocious look of this monster predator. As usual I shared it with few of my friends and one comment in particular dragged me into this conversation

Hey nice drawing, what animal is this?
That’s T Rex
What’s that? Whatever, But I don’t like it
You don’t like the animal or my drawing
Uh… the drawing is ok. But the only problem is, it’s too scary to look at
Thanks
Thanks?
Yeah, this animal was scary and glad I could get that right.
I prefer cute ones. Try making it look little cuter. Like a calf
This animal used to eat animals twice the size of a cow for snacks. In fact it used to hunt and eat animals that were 70 feet in length. This was the most ferocious alpha predator that has walked the earth. Cute is not going to work.
Blah blah blah …I don’t like it. Besides, it’s not looking real.
It’s a pencil drawing for God’s sake. Not a photograph
Duh…I know that. But what I meant is that the drawing does not resemble the real T Rex or whatever you call it
Sorry, the last of these animals lived 65 million years ago. I couldn’t get any photographs from around that time. Have you seen a real one?
Ha ha. Very funny. It looks 65 million years old though. I meant your drawing
Alright, I get it. You don’t like this drawing. Fine. When I draw a calf or a cat next time I will share it with you.
Thanks but one feedback for you.
Please tell me
You need to learn to take feedback. You can’t be this defensive
Hmm…of course I am good at taking feedback.Why would you say that?
Coz you got offended when I said that your drawing isn’t cute.
How do you even draw a cute T Rex? Maybe I should try a cartoon version the next time.
Ok forget it. Do what you please. I was only trying to help you.
Hmm
Ok can you draw my portrait?
Yes but I thought you don’t like ferocious faces
I never heard from her again. I might probably not hear from her in the next 65 million years. I don't blame her for being angry. I need to work on my ability to take a feed back. Maybe i should start with drawing the cutest scary face and make it look as real as as an un photographed creature that is believed to have lived 65 million years back. Well ,who say's taking feedback is easy.

13 September 2016

We didn't start the fire

Cauvery-Issue

We are a country steeped in customs and traditions and we pride in keeping every age old practice alive. How else do we explain the annual violence in the name of Cauvery water dispute that has almost become a part of the culture between two states? Everyone knows that this dispute is kept alive for political reasons and leveraged well by crooks to settle personal scores. The burning buses not just provide the much needed fireworks but make for sensational viewing on tele as well. News anchors like Arnab Goswami  and his wannabes with their histrionics provide the sound effect needed to stoke the fire. After all what is celebration of a tradition without fire and noise.


The high decibel news channels were busy sensationalizing the violence that was happening in some isolated corners and make the chaos look worse than it actually is. While this was happening the social media was abuzz with self-appointed critics and peace makers. Amidst this entire circus, in the relative calm of my apartment complex I heard 2 elderly gentlemen lament about violent path that our world is heading towards. They were also nostalgic about how wonderful people were during their times and romanticizing the past with a popular notion that 'the golden age of anything is when I was there’

Was the world less violent in the days gone by? I was somehow not willing to accept this notion. Were our ancestors more tolerant towards their fellow humans?  I don’t think so and here is why.

"Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out in the field.” When they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him."   Genesis 4:8.

With Adam, Eve, Abel and himself being the only humans on earth at that point in time, statistically, Cain wiped out 25% of the world’s population by killing his younger brother. The world has never seen such a wipe out since. The World War 2 wiped out 3% of the world’s population. Yes, humans killed 60 million of their brothers. If this is not violent then what is? The Nazi holocaust wiped out 10 million humans in the name of ethnic cleansing. This probably is the lowest humans could demean themselves to.  The war between Iran and Iraq took away over 2 million human lives and the more recent Afghan war took more than a million lives. We have read about the Spanish Conquistadors responsible for wiping away the highly advanced Mayan civilization and several other cases of mass violence by fellow humans wiping out civilizations from the face of earth. All in the past

If you look at the chronology of these events, we were more violent and deadlier as a species than we are today. The two old men would have certainly heard Billy Joel sing

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire

Humans have always overcome their inherent fears by creating chaos all around them. In fact,We have thrived on this weakness. I was so tempted to tell the 2 old men that the golden age of anything was never as golden as it seem today. If anything, we were more violent and cruel in the past.  


So all you degenerate morons who burn buses and ransack shops, don’t feel too proud about your violent shameful acts. Please remember that you didn’t start the fire. Your ancestors were more violent than you can ever be. They caused more damage to this world than what you aspire to do. So stop what you do as you can never match up to your grandfathers. Instead, Let us try being humans for a change. Who knows it could be good too.  


29 June 2016

Ewwww... Brexit

I am pretty sure that the most people in the United Kingdom heard EU more as a teenage girl’s disgusted scream ‘Ewwww’. So when they were asked to make a choice to stay with EU their natural and understandable answer was a resounding ‘Leave’.    
EU
You can’t blame them can you? After all, who wants to live with Ewwww forever?  That also explains the spike in Google analytics on the search about EU and referendum right after the poll.  Too bad, they to chose vote first and understand what they were voting for, later.

Their unintended and disgusted Ewwww for EU has led to the not so United Kingdom’s exit from the European Union sparking a global debate on the rights and wrongs of it.  Ireland and Scotland might have wanted to stay with EU but their opinions didn’t matter much as England (outside London) with majority voters chose the Ewwww reaction.  It was meant to be as simple a decision as ‘To be or not to be’. But the complexity of the decision far outweighs the simplicity of the question and thus leading to what is now famously known as the Brexit. This will forever be a decision that will be judged, taunted, criticized, and appreciated by all and sundry across the globe.

Is Brexit right? Did the United Kingdom make a silly decision to break free from the EU? Or will the Empire Strike Back and vindicate this unintended brave move?  Brexit supporters call it the choice of freedom and risk over stability. Those who wanted to stay will continue to taunt the decision.  Only time, sound economic decisions, healthy global market scenario and many other associated factors can give us the answers. Until then, the joke will be on the British humour.

Every now and then life takes us to a cross road where we are asked to make a choice. No matter what choice we make , we will have our supporters who justify our decision and nay Sayers who ridicule us, in equal measure. There is never a permanent right or wrong decision in life, politics or in economy. No matter how right we may seem, there will always be a road not taken that would come to haunt us if we choose to let it.

The United Kingdom opted for a divorce from its nagging in laws (Unfavourable trading rules) a burdensome joint family that was sucking it’s funds (350 M Pounds per week to EU), unwanted stream of friends visiting every day  (Immigrants) and above all , for the freedom (UK Parliament to decide on all laws and EU cannot overrule UK Court decisions).  The United Kingdom chose to leave the house.


Did they choose their destiny? They certainly did. Will they be able to admire their newly chosen destiny and exclaim ‘Awwww’ or will they feel the pinch and scream ‘Ouch’?  Whatever they do, they will only hope that the rest of EU does not shun them with a disgusting Ewwww.  

21 November 2015

Is Innovation a fine art of plagiarism?

What has been will be again? What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the Sun – Ecclesiastes 1.9


Ecclesiastes is one of the 24 books of the Hebrew Bible.

What is innovation? Is it materializing an idea that has never existed before? Or is it just a clever tweak to an already existing one? 

Life on this planet is a result of a progressive mutation that we call evolution. It’s the subtle variation of an earlier idea that has resulted in modern-day species, including humans. Nature is the greatest innovator and thrives purely on altering the previous version. Sea turning into tall mountains, landmass becoming oceans are all part of the continuous reworking and tweaking by nature. The world will forever be a work in progress.

Innovations often are a result of enhancing a previous attempt. The winning difference could be the approach, the viewpoint, or adaption. Apple did not invent computers or Mobile devices but they simply elevated the standards of innovation by adding little tweaks and creativity to an existing idea. From electricity to medicines, technology to farming methods, art to culture everything is a variation of an already existing idea.

So no matter how brilliant the idea seems in your head, be rest assured that someone has already thought about it. Don’t shy away from expressing it though. You can claim the idea as your own as long as you adapt and use it with a different approach. You can never be completely unique. You are never the first.

Plagiarism
How can we forget that the insipid but still funny Mallu legend that astronaut Neil Armstrong was greeted on the lunar surface by man selling steaming tea. ... chai, kappi?
Mankind can always pride itself on the giant leap with a small step. But we will always do well to remember that there is always a tea shop set up earlier. 


So go ahead and innovate. It is not a bad idea after all. 

29 September 2015

Transform and stay relevant

Learn and Adapt to stay relevant
“Change is the only constant” I bet, this has got to be one of the most boringly cliched quotes used over the last 30 years or so. With everything about us changing so fast, the only way to stay in the hunt is to learn and adapt quickly. The Prime Ministers' words are not just sage advice for individuals but a brutal truth for the organizations. No pasture is green enough, at least not long enough Transformation is the key.
The need for change is no more an option but a must-have strategy to stay in the race, if not win it. The rapidly changing technology, the equally fast-paced growth of adaption, evolving competition landscape, and several other dynamic factors have been constantly reshaping the business environment.  It is not a lake but a river, a rapid white water river that requires us to watch, learn and Change frequently to stay relevant.
Repackaging of service offerings, repositioning of the brand, exploring newer markets, content quality, Website visibility, social media interactions, etc are no longer onetime or once in a while activity but a perpetual work in progress. 
But this transformation is easier said than done.  This metamorphosis cannot happen without a contribution from every employee.  Here's a look at some of the common factors that can make or mar this transformation journey.  
Be the Squirrel if not monkeys: Ownership 
We tend to believe that the 'management' is machinery that is supposed to churn out innovative thoughts and this transformation process has nothing to do with us, the ordinary employee. It's their problem. While we are more than happy to pick holes about the organization's culture, lack of service offerings, lack of visibility, etc, how often have we tried to plug the gaps? We might not all be monkeys and be able to lift heavy stones to build the bridge but can’t we at least be like the squirrel from Ramayana, that helps fill the gaps? Feel a part of the change and chip in where ever or however you can. Even if it is by staying away from cynicism and negativity. 
The Mobile Phone Charge: Empowerment 
A mobile phone is put in charge when it does not have power. Humans are no different. If you want someone to take charge, give them the power. Responsibility without authority is a breeder of frustration and negativity. How often do we hear people in leadership roles complain about the lack of empowerment.  If you want productivity, then empower your managers. Trust them to make the right decisions. Cut out the red tapes. 
Two in a box: Adaptability 
To enable a rapid transformation sometimes people have to work in teams or in pairs to execute a common goal. In a Two-In-A- Box scenario, it is important that the individuals in the team adapt to each other quickly and complement one another.  There is no room for ego and one-upmanship. If these aspects are not handled properly then the Two in a box model are better left for a pair of shoes.
Girl’s skirt: Be interesting and be Agile 
Another source of frustration is when the ‘management’ turns down our ideas or does a U-turn after a few months. An idea should be like a girl’s skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to be of any interest. Short term deliverable and positive results are just as important as the long term goals. Keep it agile. Keep it short and more importantly, keep it sexy. 
Lipstick to a pig: Content and Offerings 
No amount of go to market strategy or tweaking of the value proposition would help if they are not backed with the right content and service offerings.  A pig will still be a pig even if you paint it with expensive lipstick. Content is the king might be a stale marketing catchphrase but the content itself should never get stale. Keep it fresh. Keep it interesting. 
So go ahead and change. What's the worse that could happen? You can always change again because the world would have changed further anyway.

06 September 2015

Riding the wave into a digital world

One of the most important measures of success of an innovation is in its adoption. This transition happens, when the consumer need not understand how the technology behind the innovation functions but can still use it effortlessly.  Take for instance the internet and how it has seamlessly integrated with our lives. This is probably the single most influential technological innovation that has re shaped the world in the last 30 years or so. But how many of us really know what happens behind the screen, after we click the send button.

Internet Protocol (IP) is the method by which data is transferred from one computer to another on the internet. So every computer and device needs to have an IP address to be able to function in the internet. Internet Protocol version 4 (IPv4) which is widely used today allows for 4.3 billion IP addresses. That’s a lot of addresses. Or is it?

Smart phones, tablets, social media combined with a growing population of younger generation started turning the world digital. Once again, it is not just these innovations but the ease of adoption that is doing the trick.  There is nothing that can stop this juggernaut. Or so we thought.

Today there are close to 7 billion humans in this planet and over 5.5 billion devices that can potentially be connected to each other. But then there is a small problem of demand and supply. We didn’t have enough IP addresses to make this happen. (Only 4.3 billion addresses). The projected rate of growth in the devices meant we had to do something quick. Real quick.

In came the upgraded version IPv6. This was the elixir to solve the conundrum that the digital world was facing. Without getting too technical, IPv6 can support 340 trillion, trillion, trillion addresses. Yes you heard it right. To give you a perspective of the scale, if all the addresses of IPV4 could be fitted in a 1.6 inch square box then all the addresses of IPv6 requires a space equivalent to our entire solar system. In other words, even if we assign a billion IP address per second for 4.5 billion years (the age of earth) we would have consumed only a trillion addresses.

This mind boggling advent happened 2 years back. Thanks to IPV6, we can now connect an astronomical number of devices to each other and to the internet. Brace yourself to the ‘Third Wave’ of technology innovation called the ‘Internet of Things’. The use case of IoT is limitless. The world as we know it, is expected to change from here on.

Newer technologies will emerge tomorrow.  Internet of Things will enable the world to go beyond Nokia’s tag line of ‘Connecting People’. Along with people we would be able to connect to anything, anywhere and anytime. All these connected devices will churn out data so huge that we might come up with something bigger than big data analytics.  Data security compromise would be a real threat and of course answers to those fears will also be found.

Consumers will not fear the technology that they don’t understand. But will embrace the one that can seamlessly become a part of their life and help them too.

Technology service providers are naturally excited at the prospects and opportunities but their success will depend on how well they play their new role as digital transformation partners.

 We rode the first 2 waves successfully and have reached where we are. There is no reason why we won’t enjoy riding this third wave that would take us in to a near complete digital world.   


14 April 2015

Emojinally Speaking

We are proud to live in a digital world where our ability to communicate trumps everything else.  This easy access to information and proximity to a smart device to communicate with, have  resulted in a race to be the first to share. This has resulted in information over kill with its natural its side effects too. According to Google, our attention span has reduced to just 8 seconds. Look who’s complaining. The need of the hour is quicker, faster and crispier. That 90’s boy band Boy Zone, may not be writing their famous song ‘It’s only words, words are all I have, to take your heart away’ if they were to be around today. No girl would wait for them to complete all their words. Some dude with few emoticons would have done the trick.

But wait. Is it the genius of the modern man that has led to our ability to communicate crisply and quickly? Or as always, did we just reinvent the wheel? Maybe a look at the history and evolution of communication could help. Let’s go back in time. I meant way back – about 30000 years back.

What might have prompted our ancestors, the Homo sapiens to do those cave paintings? Was it a natural urge or the sheer need to communicate? Or who knows, it could have been plain boredom that made them express themselves on those pre-historic rocks. Whatever be the reason, I bet they would not have known then, that those vague looking art form would pave the way to more complex and advanced forms of communications that would eventually help humans becoming the most dominant species in this planet. 

These symbols then became words.
With newer words emerged newer languages. With this plethora of options we figured out different reasons to communicate - Partly because we had to, but mostly because we simply could.  

As with most things, we evolve to a point of achieving the ultimate efficiency only to realize that the better way of doing anything is how it was done several thousand years ago. Our ability to communicate evolved to a point where we ran out of the right words to express our admiration. Talk about irony. 

So what if words failed us. Creativity and efficiency didn't.  Several emotions and expressions were condensed into a simple 4 letter word. Yes, Facebook took efficiency and effectiveness of communication to a whole new level that you can't help but 'Like' it.  

Today we are in the age of Emoji's and emoticons. While the Like button helped us say it in a word where we used to use a sentence earlier, then emoji's took communication to its crispiest best. Why say even a word when you can communicate without one. Texting without a text. As annoying as it may be, these little emoticons and emoji's have often bailed us out when our vocabulary failed us. 

Modern humans have evolved to a point where we don’t need words to communicate. Pictures and images that we call emojis do it just as well. Just as it did 30000 years ago.

Somewhere far away, i could hear the wonderful voice of Ronan Keating singing the chart buster song from the movie Noting Hill, You say it best, when you say nothing at all.
.


14 September 2014

One Without Tea

A conversation I recently witnessed in a coffee shop at the airport. An old frail man walked up to the counter and asked for 

“One without tea”

The boy across the counter who was taking this order wanted to double-check. “One, what?”

With a deadpan face, the customer answered “One without tea”

I was next in the queue and immediately knew that this would take a while. It was promising to be fun as well. 

“We have masala tea and ginger tea. Which one would you want?”

“No Sada (ordinary) tea. But without tea” came the reply from the customer. 

The confused assistant realized that his feeble attempts to sidestep a tricky request weren't working. So he reached out to his supervisor for help.

The busy looking supervisor asked the customer if he wanted coffee !!

“No coffee. Only Without Tea”. Now our man was losing it. Apparently coffee is not his cup of tea.

“Tell him we don’t have it” – The irate supervisor shooed away the counter boy who was by now becoming more of a pest than the customer himself.

The poor boy was more than happy to follow his boss’s orders and told the old man that they don't have that 'Without tea'. Whatever it might be. 

The customer was bemused and said something in a language that none of us understood. I am pretty sure he was not thanking the coffee shop, guys.

He walked out angry and disappointed. But hey, he got what he wanted. He asked for 'One Without tea', and walked away without tea. What was he fussing about?

As I reached the counter and asked for a cup of coffee, the counter boy was thrilled to bits and beamed a very happy smile. He was so happy to hear something he could understand.

As my coffee was getting ready I turned back and looked at the old man and thought about his strange request. What could he have wanted? Should I have stepped in and tried to help him rather than just enjoy the fun? 

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the coffee cup and the fresh brew.

"Sir, your coffee," said the helpful assistant and pointed me to a corner where sugar packets were kept. 

Without Sugar

Instinctively I looked back to see if that tea-loving customer was still around. How could we not understand this simple request? 

I never met that old man again and probably never will. But I sincerely hope that the next time he has a smarter and sweeter fellow customer who not just enjoys his plight but also helps him get his 'One without (sugar) tea',

03 September 2014

May i have your kind tension please

“Goood evening lads and gentmen,

The inflight announcement crackled through the speakers. Apparently they don’t like ladies and gentlemen inside the flight anymore and prefer to greet only the ‘lads and gent men ’.Whoever they are

May I have your kind tension please?”

I wasn’t sure if I fitted the category of a ‘lad’ or a ‘gentmen’ but I sure had lots of stress and tension with me that I was more than willing to give away to that pretty inflight attendant who made this strange request. Why would she request others for their kind tension? Or was it kind attention?

Mr. Nara…aa..ya..n…

Even in deep sleep I could sense that someone was having a fight with my name. I woke up in time to save the struggling flight attendant and more importantly my name (actually that’s my father’s name) by helping her with my rather easy to pronounce …Bhaskar

Sir you have a pre booked Veg meal. May I have your boarding pass please?

As I pick my boarding pass and hand it over to her, she poses a tough question

Would you prefer vegetarian or non - vegetarian, Sir

If I prefer a non-vegetarian meal, why would I pre book a veg meal? I chose to show my annoyance by showing a V symbol (for veg) with my fingers. I was too sleepy to answer anyway. Can I have a sandwich please? Not because I like it but because that’s the first option I could think of.

Cucumber tomato or spinach lettuce or paneer sandwich?

Another multiple choice question. After a quick inky-pinky-ponky in the head I took that tough decision – “cucumber tomato please”

Sorry sir we don’t have it.

Annoyed as I was my ego did not permit me to go back to the poor spinach and panneer that I said no to in the first place. So I asked for a fruit cake

Sorry Sir, it’s out of stock

I felt like screaming out loud. I was in row 3 for God’s sake. How can something go out of stock when the food service had barely started, But I held back my frustration and politely asked the girl, “What else do you have”

Sir, please go through our menu in the inflight magazine kept in your seat pocket

Now that strange request made by the flight attendant as soon as we boarded the flight - “May I have your kind tension please” made sense to me. She probably wanted to collect as much tension as she could from the others so that she could pass them all on to me. Unfortunately for me, she succeeded

I didn’t know if I was more hungry or angry staring at the small box of chilli pepper cashew in front of me. Apparently that’s all the vegetarian choice they had for me.


By the way, I had asked for a box of salted cashew.


11 June 2014

"I Understand" - Please don't bother

Guilt - That sinking feeling which makes you cringe with embarrassment and makes you want to kick yourself. Don’t we find ourselves in this not so pleasant feeling almost every day?  Guilty as charged – not necessarily for a big crime but a simple act of forgetting someone’s birthday or forgetting to return a call from a friend who was desperate to reach you etc. In short, being too busy for a friend.  How do you wriggle out of it? Own it up, swallow your pride and apologise. Nothing is more right and more awkward at the same time.

I recently had the pleasure of enjoying the guilty pang when I remembered a friend’s birthday two days too late. Before I could complete my well-rehearsed dumb excuse and apology I was interrupted with those magical words by my friend – “No worries, I UNDERSTAND”. Who does not like to be understood? Not to mention that I was as relieved as I was happy that she was not mad at me.

Bad habits die hard. Couple of days later I didn’t meet a friend as I had promised him and promptly apologized. Yet again those magical words “I UNDERSTAND” came out faster than I could finish my excuses. This made me think. How is it that friends understand us better than a wife or a girlfriend? Try missing the wife’s birthday and you will understand what I mean. You will be made to travel back and forth in time and reminded of every single mistake you had made, regretted and punished for. But friends, they understand. How sweet. Or are they?

There has got to be a logical answer to the violent reaction of the one who loves you and a more understanding reaction from a friend or acquaintance. It dawned on me then that the real meaning of I Understand is probably “I DON’T CARE”. It is a polite way of telling someone that it’s alright if you didn’t remember my birthday because you really don’t matter much to me.  Suddenly, the comforting “I Understand” did not seem to make me as comfortable. As discomforting and absurd this logic may sound, It makes sense to me.

I know some of you would disagree with me but that's fine by me because, “I UNDERSTAND”.

10 June 2014

How can we not love the like?

Have you ‘like’ watched the latest movie. It is ‘like’ awesome. I am ‘like’ planning to watch it again, ‘like’ the fourth time, in ‘like’ five days. 

The usage of this vocalized pause in spoken English is undoubtedly the most annoying style contributed by us to the language. This excessive use of Like is a definite hair puller for many. What was considered to be one of those North American teenage girls ‘thingy’ has now become the lingo of many in this part of the world as well.

If ‘like’ is more irritating than the conventional fillers like ‘um’ or ‘er’ in spoken English, then it certainly has to be the most versatile. Ask those compulsive ‘Like’ clickers of Facebook who convey everything from “I agree with you” to a more basic acknowledgment to say “I saw this post”. 

'Like' gives us the flexibility to interpret its meaning. While the reader might have clicked ‘like’ more out of reflex the one who posted might imagine that their work is truly loved.
The trouble with this flexibility to interpret is that, sometimes, it looks plain silly when ‘Like’ is used to convey sympathy. Sample this post I once saw, 
“I did not check FB for the past 3 weeks. I lost someone”. 
This sad post had 50+ Like. Were these people happy that our man did not come on FB for 3 weeks? I certainly hope they didn’t ‘Like’ the fact that he lost someone. 
In the digital marketing world ‘Like’ is an ‘Opt-in’ option.  By clicking ‘like’ to a page you are opting in to be fed automatically by all the updates to that page or site.
Though some of us might be voting for the other more frequently used 4 letter word for its versatility, 'Like' should rank right up there.  You can love it or you can hate it but the fact is, ‘Like’ is here to stay.
So, the next time when you struggle to express your emotion towards something, simply 'Like' it and leave the world to interpret the meaning.  
Do I see a ‘thumbs-up’ from you to this idea?

09 June 2014

That annoying status update


"Tired of waiting. Feeling so sleepy"
Where have you seen this type of status update before? The typical responses that follow this all-important 'Breaking News' might give you a hint.
"Why don't you sleep? Where are you?" 
Why don't you sleep? A simple yet profound question that not only shows care but gives an intelligent solution to a friend's odd hour predicament. What a genius. 
"International airport. Flight delayed". 
This guy apparently likes to keep his cards close to his chest. He wants to keep the world intrigued a little longer. 
"Where are you off to?"
Our 'tired' friend heaves a sigh of relief. Finally, someone popped the question that he was hoping to be asked all along.
Nothing annoys me more than such status updates. I wonder why people do that. Why can't they tell their friends that they are off to some international city? When was the last time you saw an update that read  "waiting for the bus? Tired" Or "Long queue at the ration shop." Something about the International airports that tire those with a smartphone.
We as humans have always been suckers for the needless and the unnecessary. And these attention seekers play on our voyeuristic nature. The experiences that we go through gives us a million reasons to whine about something or the other, every day. Every moment is a potential 'Status update' or even worse a rubbish blog post material (such as this one). 
One of my recent airport experience gave me enough frustrations to last a lifetime. With some writing skills, I could have written a few novels out of these experiences. But then, i don't like to complain about air travel. I have too much respect for what the Wright brothers did and what if they had got not got it right. Not too long back, we were traveling by bullock carts, if you could afford to use one, that is. 
So no blog against air travel experience. But then, I was getting too annoying for myself with all that wait and hunger. I wanted a distraction. A let out. 
So I took my phone and started typing the words, convincing myself that the world is waiting to read them.  And I posted my status update
"Tired of waiting. Feeling hungry"