"I Understand" - Please don't bother

Guilt - That sinking feeling which makes you cringe with embarrassment and makes you want to kick yourself. Don’t we find ourselves in this not so pleasant feeling almost every day?  Guilty as charged – not necessarily for a big crime but a simple act of forgetting someone’s birthday or forgetting to return a call from a friend who was desperate to reach you etc. In short, being too busy for a friend.  How do you wriggle out of it? Own it up, swallow your pride and apologise. Nothing is more right and more awkward at the same time.

I recently had the pleasure of enjoying the guilty pang when I remembered a friend’s birthday two days too late. Before I could complete my well-rehearsed dumb excuse and apology I was interrupted with those magical words by my friend – “No worries, I UNDERSTAND”. Who does not like to be understood? Not to mention that I was as relieved as I was happy that she was not mad at me.

Bad habits die hard. Couple of days later I didn’t meet a friend as I had promised him and promptly apologized. Yet again those magical words “I UNDERSTAND” came out faster than I could finish my excuses. This made me think. How is it that friends understand us better than a wife or a girlfriend? Try missing the wife’s birthday and you will understand what I mean. You will be made to travel back and forth in time and reminded of every single mistake you had made, regretted and punished for. But friends, they understand. How sweet. Or are they?

There has got to be a logical answer to the violent reaction of the one who loves you and a more understanding reaction from a friend or acquaintance. It dawned on me then that the real meaning of I Understand is probably “I DON’T CARE”. It is a polite way of telling someone that it’s alright if you didn’t remember my birthday because you really don’t matter much to me.  Suddenly, the comforting “I Understand” did not seem to make me as comfortable. As discomforting and absurd this logic may sound, It makes sense to me.

I know some of you would disagree with me but that's fine by me because, “I UNDERSTAND”.